you know the feelings when your heart hopes things to be like,
but yet your mind tells you that its impossible?
yes, i really do hate the feeling.
eg; i wish i can score an A for the EBA test without studying for it,
yet i know i've to study and still it depends if can score an A depending on the difficulty level of the paper.
im not referring to this example of course,
and reason is basically its just a common test paper.
as you know me well, it's all about relationship.
things that evolve me are family, friendship and relationship.
i cant deny that times i really do suck in any or all of this,
but as i grow older, i get to learn from mistakes and not make the mistakes again.
learning from mistake is one thing,
and not making the mistake is another thing.
since primary school, i always do face friendship problems because i know
everyday when i reach school, i see my favorite or best friends.
thats why i always treat them the best than anyone else,
but to some extent, i started having family problems due to friends problems.
for instance, where once, my mum told me not to be too close with this particular primary school friend.
apparently, i refused because i know she's the best-friend-forever in primary school.
whatever i do or wherever i go, i'd be with her.
but when my mum added on, 'her mum says you are bringing her bad.'
my heart kindof fell straight onto the ground.
i mean, why would parents think this way? we're just primary school friends and how will i bring her bad?
i scored full marks for mathematics test before and once a english subject top scorer. other than that, i play netball for sports.
will i bring her to take drugs or influence her to run away from home?
the lesson learnt was, no matter how friendship is tad close,
family will always come first.
but somehow, i always neglect the factor that family comes above all of these.
i know, i've to learn and cope with these three factors.
but when it comes to relationship,
love sweetness, small quarrels or huge fight, or all heartbreaking matters,
you start to feel.
yes, the word is feel.
you felt the love, warmth, considerate, thoughtful
bascially, its all love that you get when you're in a relationship.
but everytime, or once or twice, you're out of the relationship,
you felt the heartpain, the lost in confidence in yourself and the trust from anyone else.
to me, i'd say;
at the end of everything, you've no one but yourself.
it does not only applies to relationship but to all the things you do in life.
studies, thats the next best example.
you slug so hard to mug for exams is for yourself to have a better future and not your parents.
they work so hard thats why i'd be able to get a proper education.
in fact, i SHOULD be satisfied with everything i've gotten from my family.
times i really hope to remind myself that i should be doing the best for myself and next for my family.
the reason i said i really hope because, i know myself that i've no self-disciplined,
but i believe that as long as i've realised to achieve the target and have the filial piety 孝,
impossible is nothing.
life is never easy and things dont always go our way as we hope.
Labels: heart mind and soul, love., yuting
